Dating and developing romantic relationships can be difficult for any young person, as every individual is going to experience challenges and face the need to adjust to the unique characteristics of his or her partner.
However, the challenges that come about when pursuing a romantic relationship as a person with autism (or as a special needs individual’s partner) can require more dedicated time and effort to navigate and overcome.
If you’re a young person with ASD, the parent of an autistic child, or the romantic partner of a person with autism, read on to learn more about dating and romance for special-needs teens and adults. This article will cover several factors that affect romantic relationships with autistic individuals as well as tips that parents and partners can follow to show support.
Dating for Young People with Autism
People on the autism spectrum are most certainly capable of dating and maintaining romantic relationships in most cases. They may display delayed interests or highly specific approaches to dating and romance, but many people with autism want to find healthy, happy relationships.
Pairing dating and autism can present challenges for both the individual and his or her partner, though, so it’s important to approach these relationships with care, patience, and acceptance. Much like any healthy relationship, these partnerships require work from each party, but when individuals truly care about one another, they find themselves more capable of adjusting to the ways autism impacts the relationship.
Factors Impacting Relationships for Individuals with ASD
The autism spectrum can produce a variety of unique symptoms, characteristics, and behaviors in people who live with this disorder. The following are common personality traits that may impact romantic relationships with autistic individuals.
- Interests: Many people with autism have a narrow set of topics that interest them, so for their romantic partners, it may be challenging to explore new subjects as a couple.
- Communication: Autistic people can experience several communication setbacks, including the inability to understand emotions behind speech, the inability to pick up on nonverbal cues, and struggling when trying to communicate their own thoughts and feelings with others.
- Sensory Challenges: Becoming overstimulated is a common symptom for people with autism. They may feel overwhelmed or experience sensory overload in new situations, social events, or areas that are loud or brightly lit.
- Social Life: Autistic people approach social interactions in unique ways. Some prefer solitude and don’t seek interactions with friends and relatives. Some are not interested in small talk, and some find it difficult to pick up on what people actually mean during conversations. For example, someone with ASD might not be aware of someone being rude to them during social interactions.
- Routine: People with autism tend to prefer keeping a routine and may become incredibly uncomfortable when that routine is disturbed. While they may not be completely adverse to change, these individuals will likely have a more difficult time adjusting when something new happens.
Showing Support as a Parent
Parents want their children to succeed and find happiness in life, but parents of children with autism often worry that dating is going to present exceptional challenges for the young person they care about. After all, most parents have navigated the world with their children and have extensive first-hand knowledge about their child’s unique needs.
If you’re concerned about your autistic child stepping into the dating scene, there are a few things you can do to help prepare and support them throughout this period of their lives.
- Express Openness: Let your child know in no uncertain terms that you’re available and willing to talk about whatever they want to discuss. Encourage open, honest communication and do your best to be supportive when asked questions that may be uncomfortable for one or either of you.
- Pay Attention: While you don’t want to get too involved in your child’s romantic life, it’s important to be attentive and remain aware of what’s going on with your child. Make an effort to stay informed about your child’s relationships and encourage them to engage in safe dating practices.
- Try Therapy: If your child struggles to interact with others and may not truly be ready for romantic relationships, you might want to consider enrolling them in ABA therapy. This type of therapy aims to help special needs individuals develop social skills and adopt healthy, productive behaviors. Research your options carefully and be sure to choose a qualified therapist, one experienced with ASD, who has your child’s best interests in mind.
Tips for Partners of Individuals with Autism
If you’re in a romantic relationship with an individual with autism, there are several things you can do to build a stronger connection and express both acceptance and support for your partner.
- Keep an eye on your partner’s demeanor during social interactions and allow them to take a break when they’re feeling overstimulated.
- Know when to step back and give your partner the time and space they need to recover from a stressful situation.
- Be direct when you’re speaking to your partner, and try to avoid turning phrases or expecting them to read between the lines.
- Learn about your partner’s sensory needs, including touch that they enjoy and touch they’re repulsed by.
- Respect your partner’s need for routine as much as you reasonably can.
- When introducing change, do so slowly, in a measured way instead of bringing too many new things to light at one time.
- Try to make a mental checklist of tasks and activities that are particularly challenging for your partner and allow them to avoid these activities when possible.
People with autism are often just as capable of being in happy, healthy romantic relationships as neurotypical people. With adequate support and resources, young adults with autism can live perfectly satisfying lives with a partner. Maintaining a romantic relationship with an autistic individual simply requires a unique approach, open communication, and the ability to learn from experiences couples face together.
For more information about ABA therapy and the dating world for people within the autism spectrum, visit Path2Potential.