Anyone who is familiar with an autistic individual knows that the disorder is quite diverse, and no two autistic people have the same needs. However, sensory issues, difficulty with social interactions, and trouble straying from one’s routine are common characteristics of autism.
If you’re planning for the holiday season and you want to accommodate your autistic loved one (whether this is your child, friend, relative, or an adult in your family), there are several things you can do to help this person celebrate with you.
Let’s explore ten general tips for enjoying an autism-friendly holiday. Some tips will be more applicable to your situation than others, depending on your loved one’s specific diagnosis and triggers.
#1- Consider Sensory Elements as You Plan
The holiday season can be overwhelming for everyone, even those not on the autism spectrum. For people with autism, the potential for sensory overload is heightened this time of year, so it’s important to keep your autistic loved one’s sensory threshold in mind when you plan. For example, use holiday decorations with warm, muted lights rather than bright lights. You might also plan shopping trips carefully and avoid bringing a person with autism into loud, crowded environments.
Additionally, it’s a good idea to provide your child or loved one with the sensory tools they use regularly. This way, they may be better able to cope with the changes around them by using a tool that has already served them well.
#2- Have a Plan B Space Ready
Sometimes, despite your best efforts, the holiday season can be too much. If your child starts to become overstimulated, don’t wait for a meltdown to occur. Provide a safe area that he or she can use to decompress, such as a quiet, moderately lit room they can retreat to when they need time to adjust.
#3- Try to Prepare Other Attendees
If you are hosting or attending a holiday party with people who don’t know your special needs child, try to prepare them ahead of time. Go over some basic guidelines so that family members and friends don’t inadvertently make your child uncomfortable. For example, if he or she doesn’t like to be touched or approached too closely, let family members know that they should greet your child verbally. If your child is nonverbal, remind others that he or she is not being rude or ignoring them if they try to initiate a conversation.
#4- Stand Your Ground
Unsolicited advice is unfortunately a very normal part of the holiday season for families with a member on the autism spectrum. While the person giving this advice usually means well, this person is likely not qualified to advise you on how to care for a special needs person. Be polite when you receive this advice, but firmly decline if you know the comments are harmful. Do not allow others to place your loved one in a position that won’t help them. Remember, you know and love this person, and you’re far more equipped to accommodate him or her than someone who has just met them.
#5- ABA Therapy May Help
Applied Behavioral Analysis therapy can be beneficial for individuals with autism, as it’s designed to reinforce positive behaviors and improve social skills. Enrolling in this type of therapy focuses on an autistic person’s skills and positive mechanisms, and uses them to strengthen aspects of their life they need help with. Simply put, ABA therapy attempts to aid autistic children in developing strategies to navigate the world around them in their own way.
Vet your options carefully, though, and be wary of services that claim to “treat” autism instead of empowering autistic people. You’ll want to ensure that your child’s therapist has experience with autistic patients and uses methods that keep your child’s best interest at heart.
#6- Keep Some Semblance of Routine
The need for routine is a common trait in individuals with autism, as having control over how their day progresses can help prevent sensory overload. The holiday season can be somewhat unpredictable, but to help your child, it’s worth trying to keep some semblance of his or her routine. You might try to keep the morning routine as close to normal as possible and make small, gradual changes in the afternoon. This way, you’re not uprooting your child’s schedule more than necessary.
#7- Set Reasonable Expectations
The holidays can be frustrating, and when you’re trying to plan in ways that accommodate your special needs loved one, it can be easy to feel disheartened. However, it’s important to remind yourself that the person you care about is not the same as you. There are things he or she can’t help, and even when they come up short of what you wanted, they’re doing their best. Try to set fair, reasonable expectations, and don’t let it get to you if things don’t go to plan.
#8- Plan Ahead with Your Loved One
One of the best ways to plan for holiday events is to include your autistic loved one in preparing. If possible, talk to him or her about the events ahead and answer any questions they might have about holiday plans. Letting them know what to expect can eliminate some of the anxiety they might face when stepping into a new situation.
Communicate in ways that usually work for your loved one. You might show your child picture books, videos, and photo albums, or you might simply help your child write down a timekeeping agenda.
#9- Work with Siblings
If you have other children, or your holiday plans include the people closest to your child, include them in preparing for the events ahead. Avoid laying too much responsibility on one person, but try to arrange little things that each person can do to help your autistic child enjoy himself/herself. The people who are closest to this person can be incredibly helpful when it comes to maintaining a sense of calm and providing support.
#10- Learn from the Experience
Finally, pay attention to the way things progress throughout this holiday season. Learn from both the successes and assumed failures of the plans you make. There’s no perfect way to celebrate the holidays with a loved one who has special needs, but each year, you can adjust your plan to meet the individual where they are. Additionally, if your child attends therapy, he or she might adapt a little more each year.
Making plans around the winter holidays is hardly ever easy, and if you’re struggling to come up with solutions for your loved one, you’re not alone. The fact that you’re trying is commendable, and even if your autistic child doesn’t tell you how much they appreciate your care for them, your dedication to providing support means the world to them.
Best of luck to you and happy holidays.