According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), about one in every forty-four children is identified with autism spectrum disorder (ASD). This comes out to around 2% of children in the United States who are identified with ASD. Autism spectrum disorder is also four times more common in boys than in girls.
As parents, you understand the importance of building strong and positive connections with your child or children, but you may not know how to do this if your child is autistic. This is not a poor reflection on you — in contrast, the simple fact that you are here, wanting to learn how to better connect with your child, shows just how dedicated you are to providing them with the love, support, and connection they need to grow up happy.
In this article, we will talk about the typical challenges autistic children have with forming strong connections with others, what makes a good connection for a child with special needs, and how you can form better connections with your child.
What We Know About Children Who Have Autism
The Cleveland Clinic defines autism spectrum disorder (ASD) as a neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by the following:
- having difficulties in social communication differences — including both verbal and nonverbal communication;
- deficits in social interactions; and
- restricted, repetitive patterns in behaviors, activities, interests, and sensory issues.
There is no cure for ASD, but many children can learn to communicate and interact with others through treatment and support. Also, keep in mind that the behaviors, interests, and sensory issues that a child presents with ASD will differ from child to child. Therefore, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to teaching a child with ASD since they are all so different.
This said, some things that children with ASD typically show are:
- Difficulty understanding nonverbal communication.
- Taking things literally — idioms and common phrases may be challenging for children with ASD.
- Difficulty multitasking, especially with thoughts. Conversations that are too broad or complex can be challenging for autistic children.
- Only wanting to talk about one thing that they are extremely interested in at any given time.
- Having a different view of the world around them. Sounds, tastes, smells, sights, and touches you may not even notice could be physically painful or overwhelming for a child with ASD.
What Makes a Positive Connection Between Parents and Children with Special Needs?
What defines a positive, supportive relationship can differ from person to person, but this study found that defining these relationships with three core categories proved quite effective. The categories that this study used were trust, unity, and support. Within each category, some subcategories were measured across five different participant groups.
The study found that supportive relationships included:
- A constant level of trust from both members of the relationship.
- An intimate connection and understanding of each other.
- Shared beliefs, emotions, desires, goals, affection, and support.
- Reciprocity in the relationship.
- Members who assume the other person is competent.
- Members who see beyond labels, stereotypes, and prejudices.
- A shared vision of independence for the autistic individual.
- Support for the autistic individual’s communication efforts.
- A supportive and inclusive environment.
How You Can Form Better Connections with Your Autistic Child As Parents
Just like with any other child, there are no set-in-stone rules that you can use to know exactly how to communicate with your autistic child. Your child will have their preferences, and paying attention to those can help you form stronger relationships with your child.
This said, here are some communication tips that may be helpful for you.
Be Patient
It may take your child longer to process information if they have ASD. This is not their fault, nor is it their ignoring your question. You may have to slow down your conversation and focus on one thing at a time when speaking to your autistic child so that they are better able to understand you.
Stay Positive
Positive reinforcement is an excellent strategy for working with children with ASD. Make sure to talk about or otherwise reward good behaviors frequently.
Shift Your Communication Strategies
Rather than rambling or listing off things that you need to do, try focusing on one thing at a time when talking to your child. This is especially important if you ask them to do something or answer a question. As we mentioned earlier, it may take your child longer to process information, so give them less to process at once by cutting down on what you say at one time.
Interact Through Physical Activities
Many children with ASD have shorter attention spans than other children. Because of this, sitting down and having a conversation may not be the best way to spend time together to deepen your relationship. Instead, consider activities like playing with them outside or running around.
Be Affectionate But Respect Their Boundaries
Sometimes your child needs a hug — children with ASD need this physical show of affection just as much as, if not more than, other children. However, remember that not all children like to be touched, so never force a hug or any other type of physical affection.
Stay in the Moment
Rather than immediately asking your child a question when you sit by them, try to enjoy their company and spend time with them. This can be challenging since, often, we see asking questions as the best way to connect to others, but it may not be like that for your child.
Consider ABA Therapy
ABA therapy, or applied behavior analysis therapy, is a treatment method that focuses on reinforcing positive behaviors in children who struggle to interact socially, focus, communicate, and study. It is a well-known and commonly used therapy treatment for children with ASD. If you are looking for help in facilitating a better connection with your child, enrolling them in ABA therapy may be helpful.
Conclusion
As a parent, you may be worried about your child’s inability to form strong and supportive connections with yourself, your family, and others in their life. If this is the case, you may consider whether ABA therapy would be a good choice for your family. You can enroll your child or get a free consultation at Path 2 Potential today for in-home Applied Behavioral Analysis therapy for your child.